doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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