Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
