im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
