YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
There's always time for handjobs
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Come on in and take your pants off
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