i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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