I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize