so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
