New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
