Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
