someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
