who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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