In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
