THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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