We should be called the Road Head Warriors
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
