I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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