Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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