How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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