If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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