Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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