have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
