apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
