I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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