she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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