You're earring is so big in my mouth
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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