you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
