Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
