I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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