if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
