well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize