my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
