i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
