hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
