On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
