Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
