I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
