oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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