i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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