You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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