i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
