question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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