Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
