babies were throwing up all over the place
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
