Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
