I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
