I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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