is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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