Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
