I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize