HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
