Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
