So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
