dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
