she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
