I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
