Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
