just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
