did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
