since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
