what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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