Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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