I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
