I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
