This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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