And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
