I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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