could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
