There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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