I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
